If you have recently separated or divorced from a narcissist, you might be worried about the coming years of co-parenting with them. For those who are concerned, here is everything that you could ever want to know about how to spot a narcissist and successfully co-parent with them.
Traits
Narcissists have a few defining traits that you should look out for. For instance, they are likely to lack any empathy toward others, including you and the kids, and they might also be incredibly self-centered and arrogant. They might talk about themselves and their successes all the time and be disinterested in other people. You might also find that they believe that they are the best parent for your kids and put you and the children down, as well as exploit you and the children.
Effects
This can make co-parenting difficult as they may not respect your wishes and boundaries and believe that everything that they do is right. They might not listen to your feelings and opinions and might be hard to communicate with. They could also charm other people into being on their side and supporting them. It can be difficult to work with a narcissist when it comes to your children, as they might not tell you of their plans and might be incredibly inflexible. In some cases, you may find that you are always in conflict with them and that they will not compromise at all when it comes to arrangements. It is also likely that they will have a widely different parenting style from you and have no interest in merging the two styles or being on the same page as you. After a while, your children could be negatively impacted by their behavior, and this is something that you should try to avoid at all costs.
Coping Strategies
- The first step that you should take is to get support. Organizations such as twohealthyhomes.com can help you manage co-parenting with a narcissist. They can do this by offering you counseling sessions where they will be able to enable you to develop coping mechanisms and a plan that you can then implement. These organizations may also offer coaching that can allow you to deal with the narcissist in your life. They can also prevent you and your children from sustaining emotional damage from a relationship with the narcissist in question.
- To cope with co-parenting with a narcissist, you should also consider parallel parenting rather than traditional co-parenting. Parallel parenting is when both parents care for their children but do not have much to do with one another and is usually only used in cases where there is a large amount of conflict between the two parents. Although this can be difficult and can make organization a hassle, this can be the best option for you if your partner has a detrimental effect on you or if you find that you are unable to see eye to eye long term.
Although co-parenting with a narcissist can be difficult, it is not impossible, and by following the guide above, you will be able to make sure that both you and your ex are able to play an active role in your children’s lives successfully.
